The Church Of Me
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Kissing in the churchyard, I know a righteous woman

Wednesday, July 24, 2002
" hasten on your childhood to the hour when white in memory blue borders white in its eyes very white and piece of indigo of silver the glances white cross cobalt the white paper that blue ink tears bluish away ultramarine descends that white may rest troubled blue in dark green wall green that writes its pleasure rain green clear that swims green yellow in the clear oblivion at the edge of its green foot the sand earth song sand of the earth afternoon sand earth in the comer a violet jug the bells the folds of paper a metal sheep life stretching out the paper a rifle shot the paper rings the canaries in the shade white almost pink a river in the -white space in the clear blue shade of colours lilac a hand at the edge of the shade makes of the shade in the hand a very rose-coloured grasshopper a root lifts its head a nail the block of the trees with nothing else a fish a nest the heat in full light looks at a sunshade light the fingers in the light the white of the paper the sun light in the white cuts out a sparkling eyeshade the sun's light the very white sun the intensely white sun."

(Untitled poem by Pablo Picasso)


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
NICK DRAKE READS MY MIND

"When I was younger, younger than before
I never saw the truth hanging from the door
And now I'm older see it face to face
And now I'm older gotta get up clean the place.

And I was green, greener than the hill
Where the flowers grew and the sun shone still
Now I'm darker than the deepest sea
Just hand me down, give me a place to be.

And I was strong, strong in the sun
I thought I'd see when day is done
Now I'm weaker than the palest blue
Oh, so weak in this need for you."

("Place To Be" from Pink Moon)


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
And, from the same album:

"Is it my turn to wish you were lying here.
I tend to dream you when I'm not sleeping.
Is it my turn to fictionalise my world.
Or even imagine your emotions to tell myself anything...
Is it my turn to hold your hands.
Tell you I love you and you not hear me...
Is it my turn to totally understand.
To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing...

If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you...

Oh, I apologise for all the things I've done.
But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning...
Is it my turn to be the one to cry.
Isn't it amazing how some things just completely turn around...
So take every little piece of my heart...
So take every little piece of my soul...
So take every little piece of my mind...
'Cause if you're gone... inside...
I'd die without you..."

("I'd Die Without You" by PM Dawn)


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
"Whatever is whatever, it calculates the karma.
And tries to adjust as it inquires whats shaking.
But through no eyes, I could see the entity....crying.

I cry, when midnight sighs, I cry, when midnight sighs."

(from "When Midnight Sighs" by PM Dawn)

I will never fall out of love.


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
Now playing: "The Meaning of the Blues" by Gil Evans (from the album There Comes A Time). 20 minutes of unalloyed grief. George Adams weeping and screaming on tenor. Electronica, kotos and brass hover in the midground like Cezanne's rooftops, as repainted by Ennio Morricone and Hector Villa-Lobos.


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
THE BOOK OF ANUBIS
Liber 369: The Grimoire of Axis

Author unknown

"... the mandala of Anubis, actually exists on at least four dimensions at once. Progression of complexity from simplicity is geometrically accelerated and ramified. As all maps of Self are ultimately false, nevertheless, some are useful to elucidate certain truths, and so are Holy. The Book of Anubis, though Holy, is subject to these limitations."

In the beginning was the Self. Like a circle whose bound is never known; ecstatic and super-abundant is its "feeling." Whose center is ever fed by its boundless aura. Like unto no other, super-abundant, self-nourishing, procreating only onto itself, everbecoming more itself. By the immensity of its unknown bound, this formlessness is the archetype of form. This Holy formlessness is the fuel of its center, its freedom, its infinitude. And, verily, this center is the primal belief of the formless, the desire of the Self. And verily, this formlessness is the primal belief of center, the Vision of Self.

Time and motion and evolution are the perceived effects of the super-abundance of Self, the Ever-Becoming One.

No thought or conception can reach this Self for it precedes conception and forms. Nothing is outside this Self in its primal oneness; as empty belief, as ecstatic Self-love.

Therefore, are all selves, entities, beings, and things its ramifications, its multitude of beliefs and forms.

In its primal ecstasy of Self-love, Self has conceived of itself its duality. "For I am divided for love's sake." Yes, it has conceived of itself its force and form, its Will and Imagination, its primal duality for "love's sake." For the primal unity is the essence of ecstatic love as the experience, the emotion.

And the primal duality is the original means of its expression.

Beliefs are "forms" of Self, containing and expressing desire. Desire or Will is bound in belief.

As Self conceives it creates dual beliefs of greater complexity, and of necessity, greater intelligence to unify the components of belief. Intelligence is the ability for components of a belief to intereact.

As conception creates dual beliefs of greater and greater complexity, first structure, then life, then intelligent life is built up. But the component beliefs of the sphere (or system) of living, intelligent beliefs are small and many in their capacity to believe.

The first belief is division, producing duality (Will and Imagination). The second belief is synthesis, expressed duality, producing tetragrammaton. By this process complexity and intelligence are built up from Self.

Eventually beliefs reach a sphere of organic "life" and intelligence. What we usually call "ourselves" (Identity) is a complex and intelligent belief.

Yea, and here is a great mystery. For in its ever newness, Itself's ever-becomingness, It has accumulated its past forms of belief, it has stored these in Itself. For memory is the essence of Soul, its order intelligence and continuity. And in the multitude of beliefs that is self's manifold expression of desire, what we call "ourselves" and other selves, and these past beliefs and incarnations of Self exist in the memory of Self called Soul.

Memory is the essence of what we call the "subconscious" and is one and the same with desire energizing a belief and becoming accessible to intelligence.

Memory and the subconscious exist in the successive spheres of belief that start just outside "yourself" and extend concentrically out and back.

Self's force is the energy of its desire, self-desire ever leaping into form. Ever energy is encoded, containing information, ever desire becoming belief. Ever is belief surrounding self as its ever-changing body, and this multitude of beliefs and forms all have Self for their center, yea, they all have the same Self for center. But the multitude of diverse and reacting forms/beliefs give the impression of multitudinous self and myriad entity to intelligent beliefs.

Simple beliefs are of large capacity to believe though relatively unintelligent. Complex beliefs are of small capacity to believe though intelligent.

Capacity is "sacrificed" to intelligence and vice-versa. The primal dualities are the parents of all, while "we" build machines in a small corner of the universe.

Vital Beliefs are all those forms of belief (being forms of Self) that are not perceived by "ourselves" (a complex, intelligent belief) as being Self.

Therefore what we usually call "ourselves" is a complex, intelligent belief, capable to some degree of believing in turn. But we can only truly believe one thing at a time, for thoughts (being the name that we, having been believed give the beliefs that we in turn believe), are dual and conception has occurred.

We are only free to believe before conception has occurred. This is in relation to the sphere of complexity we are in at the time of conception. In each unity of belief there is only enough energy to awaken (make real or vital) one of the dually arising beliefs at the moment of conception. Even though in time they may alternate, they cannot exist simultaneously.

Ask yourself, "is it raining outside?" In the moment before you look you are free to think that either is or it is not. Once you look you are free to believe only one or the other. In quantum physics this is known as the collapse of the state vector.

This is the relationship of a complex, intelligent belief to a less complex and vital belief of encoded energy in physical forces. This less complex belief is considered objective phenomena while "ourselves" seem subjective in respect.

Suppose, then, that as we look at the rain we think, "I wish it were not raining." That is we desire from a complex, subjective belief to affect a change in a simpler, vital belief.

Experience has shown us that we cannot, in the normal state, believe effectively in opposition to a simpler, vital belief. For though the simpler, vital belief has less intelligence, it has more capacity to believe than a complex belief. We might be able to use our "power" or "medicine" which is intelligence to stop the rain, but as yet intelligence has not developed the means. We might persist, desire being strong enough, and attempt to develop the means, but in all probability it would have stopped raining of itself long before we had developed the means, or, we would have ceased to desire the change.

"Ourselves," as a complex belief actually exists on all the spheres of complexity/simplicity at once. As belief progresses from sphere to sphere, as complexity increases, more and more energy is bound up to maintain the complexity of the belief. This energy bound to complexity is what we call intelligence. Therefore, complex beliefs are less and less aware (immediately) of other beliefs as Self. For energy must be available to belief for it to become "real," that is, Self.

The formula of Magick is that energy must reach the sphere of a belief preconceptual to the belief desired. This requires that complex beliefs become simple. Degrees of simplicity equals availability of energy and capacity to believe. In fact, they are the same!

To try to energise a belief without reaching the required simplicity is either totally unsuccessful or exhaustive of the belief that is trying to affect the change. This exhaustion is a desired state as it frees the energy necessary to charge the new belief, but the new belief must be coded in terms not immediately intelligible or much or all of the energy will be re-focused to maintain the rational structure in which the desire is formulated, and will again tie up the energy (desire). Symbols are better than intelligent thought. Sigils are more potent yet for this purpose.

Care should be taken in the means of exhaustion so that the complex is not permanently damaged but simply exhausted.

Sigils may be made in a variety of ways. Unfamiliar languages, coded music, enumerations, special geometrics, mudras (provided they are not too "intelligible"), and many others. (Use your living imaginations).

By these means we may acquire the capacity to believe "it is not raining" (or whatever) or better yet "the sun is shining" or "the air is dry." It is not wise to use a negative of the belief we wish to change as energy may affect the positive rather than the negative, i.e. the "raining" rather than the "not".

Symbols are useful to make accessible to our belief knowledge, information and/or experience of other beliefs as we may desire. Symbols are forms either pictorial and accessible to intelligence or arbitrary and intelligent by constant use in intelligent systems. Energy made available through exhaustion and linked to a symbol reformulates in intelligence (within a complex belief) and is experienced "subjectively." Subjective beliefs are components of complex beliefs. Complex beliefs are preconceptive in relation to subjective beliefs. Therefore, subjective beliefs can be affected by "thought" i.e. the energy bound by intelligence.

What are called affirmations are used to energise (through exhaustion) one subjective belief as opposed to another, as beliefs always exist as dual. To constantly repeat to ourselves "I am happy" will bring about the desired happiness provided that one is capable of focusing though effectively and energetically and that there is no hidden conflict with a more vital or simple belief.

Some affirmations of a complex belief are usually undetected. These include such things as moral codes, aesthetics, of an intelligent belief conglomerate/system, i.e. "culture." Be not ruled by a hidden belief.

To affect the "objective" world of vital, simple beliefs requires total exhaustion of the intelligent belief "ourselves" - a kind of total oblivion, ecstasy or "death" of ourself and the released energy informing an unintelligible symbol or sigil.

"You will perform great works, though they not be known. By being the true self all things come of their own momentum.

"Verily, I am where you put your pen, and I am in the setting sun. When you look and search for me, you look only for yourself - your self free from the association you make.

"When you look for me I am the Empty Places. When you be, I am there, ever-becoming, ever taking fresh forms.

"You divide yourself by a process of reflection from me and are ever empty, searching, desiring. Revert, then, to a time before divisions - a time of wholeness and joy.

"Wind yourself like the serpent coiled to spring. But when you strike, let go. Let go of all. Let go of self and then shall your will no longer suffer from opposition. For what is there to oppose?

"In the silence that is death new life is born, and those embracing death are free.

"New tools I make from the crucible of your soul. Let light come from darkness, ever fresh, let it take form and serve its purpose, then let its death be its reward.

"Ever onward winds the serpent of life, ever devouring what was, ever growing new skins, ever sloughing off old."


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
. . .
C T ASCENDER - CYBERROCKER, FOUNDER OF SUNDRY CAB RANKS AND THE SPIRIT OF RONNIE AND REGGIE FESTIVAL IN TESCOS CAR PARK: POEMS, SONGS, LOVE AND BEAUTY RETURN!

It was 5000 years ago when rock and roll began with the ecstatic chants of mantric-tantric shamana-songs all over this planet. Oracle-priestesses, sages, medicine women, vedic rishis high on fusing left-right-hemisphere brainpower for full-life-expression of the sensual and suprasensual. Unity of consciousness everywhere: Atlantean cosmology, the vibratory songs of the stars of druids, Native-American, Australian, Maya and Egyptian cultures preserving the link to superearth in the subtle physical, immortal origin of man, origin of music and wordenergy. Power of paradise-consciousness sweeping over the Pacific and Mediterranean worlds with happines and beauty-laughter of the naked body joined by song and dance of the Eurasian-Arabic delight-bliss and the deep pounding blood of the African continent.

20th Century: after a frustrating period of left-hemisphere brain-domination and its feardriven control-hysteria, culminating in sexdeprived fascism, totalitarism and brainwash-spirituality the adventurers of consciousness and joy, the poets, artists and anarchists of sound thirst again for the sap of erotic right-brain-hemisphere mother-female universal experience, unfathomable, life-giving, nonlinear, all-creating and aim at the rebirth of the holistic left-right fusion of man's brainpower for liberation of his cosmic and evolutionary soulpotential.
The poet and mystic Sri Aurobindo together with the artist and consciousness-liberation-fighter Mira Alfassa enters the arena along with the comrads and stars of the conquest like Walt Whitman, Rimbaud, Ernest Hemingway, T. S. Elliot, Kerouac, Dylan Thomas, The Beat Poets, painter-movie-artists like Picasso, Dalì, Jean Cocteau, Jean-Luc Godard, Andy Warhol, singer-poets like Robert Johnson, Hoagy Carmichael, Jimmie Rodgers, Woody Guthrie, Tim Buckley, Joni Mitchell, all of them driving with electronical mediapower on the holistic stream of new Drums 'n' Bass with lightspeed opening the doors to unprecedented ranges of consciousness and perception.

20th Century Final Round: writer-poets-psychic-scientist-visionaries like Aldous Huxley, Albert Einstein, Buckminster Fuller, C. G. Jung, Tagore, Marshall McLuhan, Timothy Leary, Paolo Soleri, Charles M. Schulz and Allen Ginsberg together with rock-singer-actor-artists-statesmen like Françoise Hardy, James Murphy, Major Lance, Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, Albert Ayler, Lee "Scratch" Perry, Clint Eastwood, David Lynch, Abel Ferrara, Gilbert Shelton and Marshall Mathers define the new and challenging breakthrough-perspectives of planetary rockculture.

21st Century Quantum-Jump: CyberRocker C T Ascender extends it all into the cosmic love-freedom worlds of the new millennium, crossing all borders, a futuristic Prometheus bringing the cellular high-energy brainexpansion-fire-beat from the immortals. He makes new fusions, new powers effective expressing themselves in the corresponding global focal point vibrant with the new millennium awareness: Sundry Cab Ranks - the City of Peace and Futureman where he lives and works with his band Them Diamond Geezers and where every year the Spirit of Ronnie and Reggie Festival takes place.

C T ASCENDER – CYBERSINGER-POET-DIGITALARTIST AND VOICE FOR RAPIDLY CHANGING TIMES CREATED THE NEW STYLE CYBERROCK, INCLUDING BOTH: SONG- AND MEDITATIVE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC. HE IS THE DRIVING FORCE FOR TODAY AND TOMORROW. HE BRINGS MUSIC FOR THE WHOLE WORLD: FUTURISTIC, COMMITTED, CONCERNED, UNIQUE, CLOSE TO THE HUMAN CONDITION. C T ASCENDER, WORLD-CITIZEN AND WORLD-TRAVELLER IS THE RARE EXAMPLE OF A MOST AUTHENTIC, CREATIVE AND COMMUNICATIVE SONGWRITER. THE GENIUS OF HIS INDOMITABLE SPIRIT IS CONSTANTLY ACTIVE, LOOKING INTO THE FACE OF THINGS WITH THE HEART OF AN INDEPENDENT MAN. HE CREATED 1800 SONGS AND INSTRUMENTALS. C T ASCENDER COMES WITH CYBERTECH, DRIVING GUITAR, PIANO, SYNTHESISER, HARMONICA, A VOICE OF MANY MOODS AND AN ABUNDANT VARIETY OF WHITE VANS.

Sundry Cab Ranks, founded by C T Ascender and born from the ideals of "peny smif on the gmtv" and Mad Frankie Fraser is the space-age city for freefelling people from all over the world to make real love, friendship and progress.

"peny smif on the gmtv" is the outstanding consciousness-researcher of our time and rankes among the greatest modern poets. In her major work, the epic poem "GMTV News Hour," she expresses her message in breathtaking song-like poetry breaking the chains of limited vision and time, opening up the new feeling of life strong with love, joy and adventure where soul and nature, spirit and matter embrace each other and are one.

"peny smif on the gmtv"'s art is consiousness-expanding as much as is the art, music and creative energy of Mad Frankie Fraser, her companion on the way. Mad Frankie Fraser, the inspiration behind Sundry Cab Ranks, expresses himself through action, vision and progress power. His message, paintings and rottweiler are universal in depth and mastery, covering a stunning range of meaning and revelation as does his droppings of intuition and inspiration.

Embedded in this energising, happy and world open environment of Sundry Cab Ranks and stimulated by its artistic favour CT Ascender, the British undiluted for 20 generations pal CyberRocker started the Spirit of Ronnie and Reggie Festival in August 1993. Since then every year a new spirit of music of courage and hope, sweetness of soul and strength of joy reaches out for the future. The Spirit of Ronnie and Reggie Festivals are creative with the mighty dream of Unity, Love and Freedom. Guest musicians from all over the world come together to play and sing along with C T Ascender and his band Them Diamond Geezers and an enthusiastic audience for three days and nights every year in August. Since its inception in 1993 the Spirit of Ronnie and Reggie Festivals at Sundry Cab Ranks have developed into the leading Free Music Revolution Event with international flair and an inimitable atmosphere of Love and Joy.

Suprasensual saviour Ben Watson quips: "the enterprise lacks freeform input and is fundamentally as compromisingly capitalist as the pitiful fundraising "wacky" photo shots at Stoke Mandeville involving Jimmy Savile and the Guys Now! Dancers."


posted by Marcello Carlin Permalink
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